Your heart doesn't always go on
by Suckerpuncher
Summary: Kurt's dead. A look into how some of the New Directions deal with it. Warning: Contains Character death. Plz R&R


**Every chapter will be based on one of the characters, and how they deal with Kurt's death. First of:**

**...**

Finn

No one seen it coming. Out of all the people to go, it was just unbearable. And the worst part was, no one could do anything to stop it. Kurt died because of a stupid little rare disease in which you're organs just fail. No one could believe it. The amount of people at his furneral was unexpected to say the least. All of his family, from both sides. The glee club, Mr Schue, and Mrs Pillsbary. The cheerleaders, Sue Sylvester, Karosfky, all of Dalton. He had touched so many people's lives that no one thought that even he knew it. It was something awful that day. No one knew how to deal with the unexpected loss. All his room was the same. Nothing was different, his bed wasn't even made. That's were Finn found him. He looked just like he was sleeping. But no matter what he did, Finn just couldn't wake him up. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew that he was dead from the moment he laid eye on him.

Right now he was looking out his window. He didn't know what to do now, he wasn't being dramatic or anything. But you could barely walk down the hall without feeling sad in this house lately. Burt didn't move from his bed, he just lay there, and Finn couldn't really blame him. His only son died. And him nor his mom knew what to do or say to him. He looked at his phone. 4 Missed calls from Rachel. He sighed, and he leaned against the wall. He picked up his phone again. He scrolled through his contacts and found the one he was looking for. Kurt. He pressed the call button and waited for the dial tone to end. "Hey this is Kurt. I'm most likely practising for Nathionals so leave me a message after the- " Beep. Finn smiled. Even though it was a machine, it was nice to hear his voice.

"Kurt... Who knew that you dying would turn everything to shit. You have no idea how much I would love for you to be here. I can't believe this happened. Everyone misses you, including me... Espically me. All I want to say is that I mi- " The phone disconnected. He put the phone in his pocket and rubbed his hands through his hair. His mother walked in, her eye-makeup or whatever they called it a little overused and smudged, obviously she was crying. "Hey mom" He said, trying to smile, but his face wouldn't allow it. It felt wrong to small, which was horrible because he was in his own home. She smiled and sat on his bed, he got up off the window sill and he sat down beside her.

"Who were you talking to?" She asked, and Finn slightly flinched. He hadn't told anyone that he still left Kurt messages, he honestly still hoped that one day he'd pick up, and just talk to him. "Was it Rachel? She's worried about you. She called me because you weren't picking up your phone. She asked me if you were okay, and I didn't know what to tell her" Finn looked down at his lap, he felt the tears coming on, but he didn't feel like crying. There are sometimes when you are just past that.

"It wasn't Rachel. What happened to your eyes? I mean like your makeup?" He asked.

"Kurt bought me the makeup, and lately it doesn't feel right not to wear, I don't know what's gonna happen when I run out" Finn barely even heard her. He knew that it was kind of selfish, and he realized that his mom was going through some stuff also with Kurt. But he just couldn't help it.

"Can I go out with Rachel? Just for a few hours?" He asked.

"Be back before dinner." She said with a sad smile. He got up, and was about to dial Rachel but he stopped and looked to his mom

"What's going to happen with the friday night dinners?" He asked, and Carol didn't know what to say.

"I think we're going to have to live without them" She said. Finn walked out while calling Rachel. She answered the phone almost immedietly.

"Thank God Finn I was stressed out to pieces" She said urgently on the phone.

"Rachel, just get your bike and meet me at the woods at the end of Lima. Hurry. The spot we're we had the picnic this summer, remember?" He asked, and she did. They said their goodbyes and Finn got his bike and he started cycling and he cycled. He took the long way to the woods from his house, just because he needed to think about anything and everything. But the one thing he didn't want to think about was the only thing he could. Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. FUCKING KURT! He was so caught up in thinking that the bike went over a big rock that Finn didn't see and he went out on his face. There was no blood, which was the only good thing. He got up. And he looked around. He was on a desserted road, and he just screamed. He screamed until he couldn't anymore.

He got back on his bike and he cycled to the forrest. Rachel was there waiting for him. She gave him a kiss as soon as she saw him, needless to say he kissed back. He stroked her cheek, and when they stopped kissing, he couldn't help it but not stop touching her cheek. "I'm so sorry I haven't been there for you as much as I should have been" He shushed her.

"You were there and more. C'mon let's go in the forrest... Right at the picnic spot" He smiled, barely as did she, and they walked in. He remembered exactly where it is. because it was the one place were the tree's at the top all split apart and you could directly see the sun. They lay down together, and he kissed her, he put his hands on her hips. She moved them away. He tried again, and this time she pulled away entirely.

"Finn stop... Having sex with me won't make the pain go away" Finn stood up, over reacting, yes... But he was stressed.

"Then what will Rache! 'Cause I really just don't know anymore!" He screamed.

"I heard people say talkking helps" He was still breathing heavily. "You should just talk to me. Or yor mom. Maybe even Burt" She said stilll trying to calm Finn down.

"I wouldn't know what to say" He said, sitting down. Rachel put her hand on Finns. She put a comforting smile on, she then hugged him.

"I'll go first. There's just so many things I just wished I said and done with him, I know it's an old cliche but, it's true" She said. And Finn got an idea. A really, really great idea.

"Rachel, get everyone from the glee club to come up here, right now" He said, she looked confused at first. But he convinced her to do it while he ran home to get supplies. He got back, with about five markers, a good few pages, fire wood and matches. He set everything up and when the glee club got there - including Mr Schue and Mrs Pillsbary, everything was set up. It was also night. It was hard to miss it with the big bonfire and all. They all got their, still pretty confused. He explained everything to Rachel. She passed out the markes and cut the pieces of paper and handed them out. As she did so, Finn said in a big voice so everyone could hear him. They all stood around the bonfire.

"If there's anything you ever wanted to say or do with Kurt. And never got the chance to tell him. He's your chance. Write it on the pieces of paper, throw it in the fire, and the smoke will go up into the heavens. And I know not all of you believe in God but, there has to be something up there. And I bet if Kurt could hear us, he'd be rolling his eyes and saying some bitchy comment. But that's why we all loved him" And everyone got writing. Finn saw some of them.

Blaine's: I'd die for you

Mr Schue: Give him a solo at Nationals.

Mercedes: One last makeover.

Brittany: Bring him to the water park to meet the other dolfins.

He laughed at the last one and then everyone through theirs into the fire. The smoke rose. Rachel walked over to him, noticing that he didn't throw anything in. He smiled when she asked him about it and said "I'll them him in person one day" She frowned but then smiled. He walked into the dark of the woods, as everyone near the bonfire, talked for the first time in what seemed like years. He got his phone dialed a number and pressed call.

"Hey this is Kurt. I'm most likely practising for Nathionals so leave me a message after the- " Beep. Finn smiled.

"Hey, Kurt It's me. I wanted to say I miss you, and I think that things will get better. But things will never be the same. I love you and bye"

**...**

**NEXT TIME**

**BLAINE**

**Blaine looked down at the drugs in Pucks hand. He frowned. "What are those?" He asked, not exactly believing Puck would even think about asking him to take them. **

**"Just take 'em" He replied simply.**

**He was dancing around with earphones in his ears. Heavy rock was on, which was funny because he hated rock. He stopped listening to them and Sebastian walked in. "Blaine?"**

**"Fuck me" Blaine said. Sebastian looked confused. **

**"What?"**

**"Fuck me"**

**He looked around the deserted Playground, and on the previously empty swing set, which was still swinging, sat Kurt!**


End file.
